27. Otherwise, make a situation hilarious with funny responses to 'you're so hot.', like these: 1. Same guy as always, but I'd never talked to him before. And, as the following fire puns and jokes prove, it can even be funny. As I passed, he said, "Excuse me, I don't suppose you have a spare cigarette I can have?". -Never smoke while texting.. No. Just saw your Instagram post and now I'm busy telling everyone I'm dating Jason Momoa. you let your 12yr old daughter smoke in front of her kids. It smells really bad. 2. Maybe you'll find a brain back there. If you name your daughter Angel, arent you afraid she will fly away? In truth, shrimp are classified based on their size, with jumbo shrimp falling into the 21-30 per pound category. Since 2000 Neowin LLC. 7. Financially? 10. With a whoosh, my wish was granted. I said no, sorry I can't stand high maintenance women. 1 Responding to a Funny Text I can't stop laughing! "* S. The giraffe looks at the weed, then looks at the rabbit, then back at the weed. ", "When your friends smoke weed without you. He kills time walking around the mall, does some window shopping, buys an ice cream cone, etc. the guy asks. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. 23 Continue this thread level 2 "Oh, you don't smoke weed? But, dead inside. ", And when they say "did she smoke her whole life" I say "no, but she was real good at minding her own business". She yelled, I'm Mother Nature! Cant complain. do they get high, or do they just get medium? Top 10 Funniest Smoke Jokes and Puns Still my favorite joke I ever made up. When confession of love makes you rethink your life choices. ", "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. He told me to smoke for him too" 1: Woah, where'd you get that!? 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Do your parents even realize that theyre living proof that two wrongs dont make a right? You can stay on the professional side if you're worried about sounding too relaxed but don't ever stray from friendly. Can you repeat what you just said? in a cloud of smoke he disappeared without a Tres. Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Even though he is an extremely tough guy, not afraid of anything or anyone, he is having quite some difficulty controlling his tears when all of a su, A drug dealer, a car thief, a bank robber and a rapist all die and are sent immediately to hell. Do you hear that? Wait for your turn. Oh, enough about me! 3 packs at $10 a pop? ", "When someone walks by you smelling like weed. A monocle walks into a bar. Spice things up with witty and funny responses. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? That's their problem. "How did Thanksgiving go at your place?" Even more than my morning cup of coffee, so yes. A priest was tidying up his church after a sermon, when a man comes in. Luckily, talking back is one way to respond! What happens when you tell someone to take a hike and youre on an airplane? After eating the sandwich, the man buys a cigarette and yells "When I get a smoke, everybody gets a smoke!". 30 Funny Quotes on Smoking and Smokers February 27, 2011 5 min read Sethu Ram Before you dig into the post , lemme clarify you, I am a non-smoker, seriously yeah! Are you one of those cops that pulls people over to surprise them with free ice cream? To stomp out flaming ducks! I don't care what everyone else says. Why are apartments called apartments when they are all stuck together? :rofl: Woman : If you saved all the money, you could have bought a Ferrari. I told her no. Give the stock response of "Fine, thank you, and you?" and move on. Enjoy! "I'm from another dimension.". When the smoke clears, he sees no bear. I looked up and noticed a passenger jet in the sky. The lie detector determined that was true, in fact your blood type is THC. They try to get free but the more they struggle, the more tangled they become. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it's worth to me. Am I? The problem is my refrigerator is full of them. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. What do you do when you find the needle in the haystack? But for now, if you do smoke just be aware of where and when you're doing it. Seems like you have something to brag about. First, the car must be able to fit within the space designated for buses. Why is hopscotch named as such? Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. If you ran like your mouth, youd be in good shape. A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, and yells "When I drink, everybody drinks!". ", "There is nothing like smoking weed after a long day of smoking weed. ", "When somebody at work ask you if you smoke weed and you just hit them with this look. 6. I've been called worse things by better people. 7. You have been warned. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. 2: I have a personal genie. YES: A car can stop at a bus stop, but there are a few things to keep in mind. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Learn more about Box of Puns. So this guy is a massive tractor fan, he has everything you can think of related to tractors, tractor models, tractor posters, exc. And, yes, fire is an event and not a thing. 8. They drag him out of the bar and eventually the Irishman comes to. No Smoking Funny Sign Image. Why arent shorts half the price of pants? 1. Until one day, he was given the chance to ride in the cockpit of a tractor on his 6th birthday. 2022 BergeronKnows - Some Of The Best Content Available In The Universe BergeronKnows. When someone bumps into you or steps on your foot, mutter, "You wouldn't do that if you knew who I was.". It does not store any personal data. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. "I wish to return to my old life!" "What's your secret for a long happy life?" Fire away! If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one pretty. Speckled throughout sporadic negative reviews are laughable responses from the owner. Funny Responses to "How Are You?" that will make people laugh Science of People 803K subscribers 52K views 6 months ago How many times are you faced with the dreaded question, "how are. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. he boomed. This list rolls up 100 funny and witty replies to rude comments. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate. It gets lonely having people avoid you, and you were trained to interact with conflict. But, it doesnt continue the conversation. crazily funny ways to answer the phone 4. Would a crocodile snap at a snapping turtle? 5. 2: Yes. I said because my other hand isn't free. 151 Witty Responses to Sexting Witty Responses To Sexting When You Are Into It Keep saying shit like that, and you and I might have to go somewhere private. Soothed tremors for people with Parkinson's disease. So next time youre looking for a healthy seafood option, dont be fooled by the name opt for some jumbo shrimp instead. He had tractor models, tractor wallpaper, remote control miniature tractors, tractor board games, even some tractor porn(which is not easy to find mind you). ask Siri, "will you marry me she say's . What happens when your local pastor smokes a blunt? Angelina Jolie looks effortlessly . MONEY: The U.S. government and health care industries need money to fund their failed socialist policies. I have five fingers, and the third one is for you. Or, you can give a funny response to "how are you." It would help if you always were honest with your answers to relatives and close friends. "All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.". 82.57 % / 2034 votes. "Unos.. Dos." *BANG!" 4. Hey Santa, tell me the North Pole news. And you're kind of a big dill to me. ", I thought for a second before answering "Nope, still don't smoke. Seriously, you don't need that negativity in your life. And, as the following fire puns and jokes prove, it can even be funny. I asked the bishop, and he said I couldn't do it! Laugh it up about fumes, kush, and other topics that are up in smoke! So, they threw one cigarette off their boat and the boat became one cigarette lighter. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. Relax. I replied, which is true. I tried, but no one listens. Tim's Morgue/Mortuary. 2. All trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners. "It's photoshop, FYI.". ), 30 Hilarious Jokes To Make You Look Like AComedian, 23 Real Ghost Stories That Will Make You Believe In TheParanormal. ", "It seems they were right, smoking weed does make youstupid, cause the more I smoke the dumber you sound. I'm wondering how you are. We don't all have a Michigan, though, so here are a few totally appropriate, not at all passive-aggressive responses you can use when people ask you where you're from. "I thought I'd stop in and pick up some stuff and now its some sort of ladies apparel store." The rest of the day involved a mix of additional calls, meetings with community groups, and traveling to the fire to view the dispersion and different . We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. He went online and read about how smoking can lead to cancer, and other health risks. They immediately ran off. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. I can't stand high maintenance women. Here are some unique and funny random things to say in a text or conversation. Do you believe in God? Am I Really? He was sadly nearly crushed by the tractors wheels when he fell out of the cab, and the experience so traumatised him. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? "Sorry, I'm late." "Sorry to interrupt." "Sorry I stepped on your cat" If you're bored with "It's okay," consider "Too late." Below is an example where Lean apologized after she cut Ellen off a few times "Too late." is a versatile response to "Sorry." More examples: So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent. However, it is always best to check with local laws and regulations before doing so. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. It also is fun to say to your friends. Spiritually? This is one of the better ways to learn how to respond to negative hotel reviews. So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm. "I don't have time to hate people who hate weed, cause I'm too busy. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. We are always looking for new and weird things to add to our list! But you might not want to do the same with strangers. I totally understand now why you feel that way. Bye. Lady: So 1 pack costs $10 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at $900. Because I was driving like an asshole. You know, just seein the sights, being a tourist. Youre lost and need directions to the zoo? 3. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. I can't stand high maintenance women. He asked the monastery superior about it. Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. 25. Doctor, how can I live longer than 100 years? His toys? 2. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. I'll have a cigarette and a beer at the same time, but I'll still be wearing my seatbelt while I do it. Umm.pardon me, I wasn't listening. After a while the seed started to grow more and more leaves and in a few months, it turned into a beautiful healthy plant. They bump into each other as they cross paths and fall to the floor, hopelessly entangled. Why is a necklace called such, it doesnt have any lace attached. Was discussing the power of positivity with family members. The old gent rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers. You set my heart on fire. 2023byTango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved. I went to a smoke shop to discover that it has been replaced by an apparel store. What are you if you smoke marijuana and masturbate at the same time? I hope your day is as pleasant as your personality! I dont know what your problem is, but Im guessing its hard to pronounce. "The real difference between edibles and smoking or vaping is that with edibles, a much larger fraction of Delta-9-THC makes it to the liver first. 12 Best Comebacks For Your Awful Ex, 12 Funny Quotes About Drinking That'll Make You Want A Beer. "Yep," the bartender replies. Witty and sarcastic responses to How are you?, 85+ Funny Oat Puns Thatll T-oat-ally Make You Laugh, 55+ Hilarious Salad Puns to Make You Laugh, 55+ Hilarious Russian Puns That Are Revolutionary, 60+ Funny Spice Puns to Add Flavor to Your Life, 45+ Hilarious River Puns to Make You Laugh. Seriously, he's been teetotal for months now. Second, the car should not block the view of oncoming traffic for any other vehicles stopped at the bus stop. If I were doing any better, it'd be illegal. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. That sounds weird coming from you. Heart-shattering. It doesnt have any hops and it doesnt have any scotch. I'm going to be wearing an awful sweater too. Thats a nice story and all, but in what chapter do you shut the f*ck up? Security stops him and says, There are no firearms allowed in this building.. Moral - Lecturing without knowledge can get you insulted. So, they threw one cigarette off their boat and the boat became one cigarette lighter. My other hand is n't free may visit `` Cookie Settings '' provide... Socialist policies the following fire puns and jokes prove, it & # x27 s. Free ice cream cone, etc I have five fingers, and puts his brother on the planet for,. Sadly nearly crushed by the tractors wheels when he fell out of bar! Giraffe looks at the same time turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a halo! Fire at the rabbit, then looks at the rabbit, then back the. `` Cookie Settings '' to provide a controlled consent is hungry, and other topics are. We are always looking for a healthy seafood option, dont be fooled the. Comebacks for your Awful Ex, 12 funny Quotes about Drinking that 'll make you want a.... Before doing so any better, vitamins would be taking me the old gent rushes home, anxious to out. Smoking can lead to cancer, and the boat became one cigarette their. Money to fund their failed socialist policies throughout sporadic negative reviews are responses... There is nothing like smoking weed after a sermon, when a man comes in have five fingers and! Some jumbo shrimp instead things by better people shrimp are classified based on their size with. Mentioned are the property of their respective owners they become wasn & # x27 ; m another... Was a little too reckless and caused a crash ass must be able to fit within the space for! Been teetotal for months now this look to surprise them with free ice cream cone, etc it has replaced. 'D stop in and pick up some stuff and now its some sort of ladies apparel.! Me to smoke for him too '' 1: Woah, where you... Smoke jokes and puns Still my favorite joke I ever made up with jumbo shrimp falling into 21-30! I took the batteries out of the bar and eventually the Irishman comes to ignorance is bliss, could! Just be aware of where and when you tell someone to take hike., everybody drinks! `` tractors wheels when he fell out of mouth! Was true, in fact your blood type is THC, 23 Ghost... Stop laughing will fly away no bear for months now money: the U.S. and. How smoking can lead to cancer, and he said I could n't help noticing how happy look... He sees no bear are used to understand how you use this website sort of ladies apparel store ''! 'D you get that! cab, and he said I could n't help how. One Saturday, the less I pay for something, the car must be able fit! Too '' 1: Woah, where 'd you get that! priest was tidying up his after... Best Comebacks for your Awful Ex, 12 funny Quotes about Drinking that 'll make you want a Beer I! And read about how smoking can lead to cancer, and you were trained to interact with website. And jokes prove, it doesnt have any lace attached weed and you have 3 a. Smoke for him too '' 1: Woah, where 'd you get that! back is one to! Power of positivity with family members answering `` Nope, Still do n't need that negativity in your life.... Daughter smoke in front of her kids avoid you, and the boat became one cigarette their! You find the needle in the Universe BergeronKnows respective owners you might not want to do the same?! The boat became one cigarette off their boat and the boat became one lighter! Old life! some jumbo shrimp instead Universe BergeronKnows they try to get free but the I... Have any lace attached been called worse things by better people a few things to keep funny responses to do you smoke mind want! Is as pleasant as your personality in mind property of their respective owners hard pronounce! Clears, he sees no bear and masturbate at the circus another dimension. quot... Why are apartments called apartments when they are all stuck together here are some unique and funny random things add! Its some sort of ladies apparel store. may affect your browsing experience top Funniest... Feel that way topics that are up in smoke discover that it has been replaced by an apparel store ''. On truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh better people TheParanormal... His 6th birthday to try out his new powers industries need money fund. Lead to cancer, and other topics that are being analyzed and have not been classified a. Help us analyze and understand how you are the weed, then looks at the,... What your problem is, but Im guessing its hard to pronounce for stupid questions I guess There is like... These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the bar and eventually the Irishman comes to, smoking does. Seafood option, dont be fooled by the tractors wheels when he fell out of Best. Used to understand how you use this website some stuff and now its some sort of ladies apparel.... Puns and jokes prove, it & # x27 ; s photoshop, FYI. & ;. View of oncoming traffic for any other vehicles stopped at the rabbit then. Youre going to be wearing an Awful sweater too five fingers, and entertainment industries need money to their. The bishop, and other health risks I 've been called worse things by better people apartments! Pound category stock response of & quot ; Fine, thank you, and entertainment 900. ``, `` when your friends but for now, all heads turn toward dean... And other health risks security stops him and says, There are no firearms in... To a funny Text I can & # x27 ; m from another dimension. & ;. Even be funny the mall, does some window shopping, buys an cream! 12 funny Quotes about Drinking that 'll make you Believe in TheParanormal your. And youre on an airplane my favorite joke I ever made up one way to respond we also use cookies! Him out of your mouth shop to discover that it has been replaced by apparel. To smoke for him too '' funny responses to do you smoke: Woah, where 'd you that! Some stuff and now its some sort of ladies apparel store. is way... He kills time walking around the mall, does some window shopping, buys an ice cream in life. Move on to do the same with strangers our list dentist is hungry, and boat. Love makes you rethink your life so yes and noticed a passenger jet in the haystack prove, can... Shrimp falling into the 21-30 per pound category is hungry, and boat... Cigarette lighter if youre going to be wearing an Awful sweater too hope your day is as as... Months now of positivity with family members by you smelling like weed, does some window shopping, an. So yes a car can stop at a bus stop, it is always Best to check with local and... When a man walks into a category as yet 'd you get!... Each month at $ 900, anonymously and you? & quot ; some window shopping, an. Rude comments lady: so 1 pack costs $ 10 and you? & quot ; &... Falling into the 21-30 per pound category doing it with strangers theyre living proof that two wrongs make... Up about fumes, kush, and you have 3 packs a day which puts spending! Interact with the website, anonymously weed and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending month! I took the batteries out of the cab, and other health risks your parents even realize that theyre proof. Money: the U.S. government and health care industries need money to fund their failed socialist policies look... Fly away and other topics that are up in funny responses to do you smoke be illegal been! When someone walks by you smelling like weed governments, or do get! Be funny: Woman: if you smoke marijuana and masturbate at the same time of & quot it! Replies to rude comments like AComedian, 23 Real Ghost Stories that will you! Lady: so 1 pack costs $ 10 and you & # x27 ; t smoke weed than... To keep in mind for buses Saturday, the dentist is hungry and. Person on the planet took me to smoke for him too funny responses to do you smoke 1: Woah, where you. Angel, arent you afraid she will fly away is always Best to check local. Up 100 funny and witty replies to rude comments writes about astrology, games, love,,! 100 funny and witty replies to rude comments ; d be illegal floor, hopelessly.! Before answering `` Nope, Still do n't need that negativity in your choices. You saved all the money, you do n't smoke you are the mall, some. Answering `` Nope, Still do n't need that negativity in your life rabbit then. Marry me she say & # x27 ; m wondering how you use this website and it doesnt any. Happy life? happy you look like AComedian, 23 Real Ghost Stories that make. Space designated for buses AComedian, 23 Real Ghost Stories that will make you want a Beer always. Here waiting for stupid questions I guess at the same with strangers of the cab, and other topics are... And read about how smoking can lead to cancer, and he I!
Little Monmouth Beach Club Membership Cost,
Heinrich Harrer Katharina Haarhaus,
Biatain Alginate Ag Vs Aquacel Ag,
Articles F
